2012 latest laughs

February 12, 2012 – 7:45 am
Take advantage of the students take a bath to go to his girlfriend’s cell phone number changed. Evening the Tang Chuangshang sent him a text message “My husband I’m pregnant”. I saw that man suddenly stand up out of bed Bada Bada smoked He Yan, find the bedroom people to borrow money …
2 Valentine’s Day today, have a crush on the long-MM phoned me: “Come to my house, no one!” I am excited bolted away! ! ! ! ! ! ! Knock on the doors of more than one hour, Nobody really …
Class, a female student came with a note, see I really want the flat he is written above: in it?
Today the whole family to see Hunan Satellite TV costume dramas to play when, suddenly very residual brain asked my dad: Dad, you said why should I call you to do your father? – My dad is a weak answer: you can call me Armagh.
A friend recently bought a car, took us out yo. Another friend along with his sister the following dialogue:
MM: brother, your friend drove unsteadily ah.
GG: Well, yes. You see also a bicycle passed
One day, the sister went to the brother room.
Sister: “Brother, my pajamas off, OK?” My brother did so.
The sister said: “and then my bra take off Come on!” Brother according to do.
Sister to say: “Finally, my underwear take off Come on!” Done after the brother, sister picked up the clothing, said: “In the future do not wear my clothes! Perverted!
7 day a traffic jam for several hours a friend in Beijing, finally could not stand, he exploded to open the door, opened the trunk, a long stick from the inside out. All of the traffic jam of people looked at him in surprise, I saw that he cursed the ground a snail knock the smash, while knocking the side of curses: “Look you dare to follow me!”
Reporter: Starting next week, if you have ten acres of land to half of the harvest is dedicated to the party?
Uncle: willing.
Reporter: If the two villas are willing to dedicate a villa party?
Uncle: willing.
Reporter: There are two car do?
Uncle: willing.
Reporter: of $ 1 million prize?
Uncle: willing.
Reporter: There are two cows?
Uncle: do not want to ……
Reporter: Why Tian, ​​villas, cars and bonuses are willing to cattle hand, do not want to do?
Uncle: I really have two cows.
9 opposite the small guy eating noodles is really a waste. Noodles push lightly two left. Justice that bowl down to the roadside looks hungry wildcat. While, the little guy back, holding a bottle of water. Look suspiciously at the empty bowl … that moment, I just want to when buried eating surface passers …
10 companies MM, A while back, the QQ signature 5.05 6.10 7.12 8.18 9.23 () research study, can not be calculated. Issued to the company that mathematical genius, did not do it. Finally had to ask her: “the number in brackets is how much ah?” MM replied: “I know what has not come yet.” …
11 in the morning to get up, her husband rolled over, the quilt took him wrapped up, roll several layers.
I looked to continue whirring sleeping, and I’m cute, like to be cut sushi.
Then, with his belt, down the middle to large rolls of the Department of circle, went off to work.
4:00 am back to see her husband maintained a sushi shape to be cut in the morning, still in bed, just a little different angle, and looked at me and the vision of Resentment.
He said: hungry for a day is not the key, when I go off the air conditioning dead heat is not the key, the next day how to get the unit to explain did not work and do not answer the phone is not the key,
The key is: opposite the bed is to wear the wardrobe, he looked in the mirror feel pretty crazy funny. Laugh pee not Biezhu. . . .
12 Some post asked: like a bank counter MM, so what better way to pursue it? Replies: to save money and bankbook not take, she would have stopped you … banks sister: hey … your passbook!! I smile: is your passbook!
Junior high school, the school close to home, each put off I have to walk home.
13 a year, winter holiday, I was walking alone on the way home, inadvertently, to see who flew with an eagle.
Day I wear the cloak of an imitation rabbit fur white-collar sub, catch a glimpse of an eagle that moment, I thought it not my collar as only a big rabbit and flying under arrest me?
So I determined to find a hidden corner dodging, stood in the cold wind for nearly half an hour … half an hour in, I stuck an eye from time to time to secretly look at the Eagles are still alive. in … in … in … still …
Been a long time I finally found things strange, so I ventured to make careful observations of the eagle moment.
Then … cursed:
Neuropathy, on a cold day put a Da Tougui kite.
14 Saying that one day a stomach ache, hurried busy packets go to the bathroom, slipped out of pants for a long time kept on the life of the Bang put the loud noise of the fart.
And then I heard the next door to the pit of man: “I rub …”
When I get away to go, that man added: Brother paper? You just be a scare, paper out into the pit of the
15 work in the morning to take the subway, and more particularly crowded. Next to a girl looks very kawaii is texting, I do not looked she wrote, “Today many people on the bus is very crowded,” while I think of a thing to laugh a few times. No intention for a while looked back and saw this girl goes on to say “still standing next to one of the SB
16 seniors a day self-study finished downstairs, thinking to go in front of me were roommates secretly ran up towards his ass severely kicked his foot, also shouted: you from actually learning? ! Man rubbing his ass back pitiful look at me, trembling, said: Well. Standing face to face after a few seconds, I was wondering how to apologize, the man replied: Big Brother, my freshman year, freshmen, the future did not dare …
17 first class, a classmate hungry, put the noodles. In order to prevent the teacher found so books, head buried to go, but the heat to take out. Teacher said very calmly: “This is Which students, reading to see possessed by the devil?”
The girlfriend said I did not see how to recover promised, loss of her, so break up, I re-chase, and I agreed. Then, the wood and then a. Lie to break up with such a play
19 today to go to school shopping in the supermarket.
The cash register when not brush bar code will have a “tick” sound ~
I bought a spiced corned egg brush out how …
Head does not know what to think …
Leisurely smoke to one:
“Di ~ ~ ~
The audience petrochemical ~ ~ ~
20 intestinal total area of ​​200 square meters, our housing feces place to live, might as well go When the feces, and was born not as good as feces ~~
21 child, the teacher told me: the human body has a hard villain and a lazy villain when you hesitate, they will fight. Primary school, hard-working villain often lazy villain trounced junior high school, tied to the high school is a lazy villain often win. But I went to college I suddenly found that they do not fight, mother’s diligence villain was beaten to death
22, he met a voluptuous and wealthy woman, her fans perverted Britain Road. He quit his job, betrayed fiancee eloped with this woman, on the plane, the woman asked him, Do you remember high school you humiliated Baoya of girl do? He hesitated and the front of this woman imagined familiar. You? He asked. The woman shook his head to sneer, thanks to your gift, she graduated from high school committed suicide. Panic, you. . . ? The woman Yin Xiao, I was her brother.
23 him a net worth of 10 million, with numerous luxury cars, private luxury restaurants, modern farms. Since the QQ, lost, he lost everything.
24 he is free on the paper stack of heart-shaped origami, to see her give her. How long are the habits? He does not remember very clearly. Suddenly, one day, she said on the phone: “Today, waste paper collection, I asked the price, you send my heart-shaped origami sold …” paused, “just nine dollars. under your dress to dress, we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau, licensing
Another sensational. . . . .
25.3 years of age, said, “Mom, I love you”. 10 years old said “Mom, listen to you.” 16 years old my mom is really annoying. The age of 18 want to leave this house. ” 25-year-old, “Mom, you were right. 30-year-old “I want to go to my mother home.” 50-year-old “I do not want to lose my mother.” 70-year-old “as long as my mother also, I am willing for my mother to give up everything”.
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The history of the most classic color wife Quotations

December 5, 2011 – 8:13 am

1, I am on the couch watching TV, his wife wrapped in towels to sit on my lap, fascinating and charming to say: “Grandpa, you have a small woman, right?” I deliberately Zuohuaibuluan: “Do not, my uncle Today, no money! “Wife:” What about the money, as long as cool a little woman on the line, and afterwards make a IOU! “I have this matter halo ~~~~~ outstanding loans!

2, I hold up my wife with one hand on the chin, provocative, said: “little girls, came in to sing my uncle got the right stuff it!” His wife put my hand a shot: “Ke Guan, please put some respect, Little woman I do not prostitute entertainer! “surprise! This muzzle on the next hit!

3, I bath in bed reading, my wife came out from the bathroom a Ehupusi my pressure in the body, face grim, said: “Hey, little brother looks good, little woman, today I want to Chang Changxian!” I swear to protests. I do not see from his wife, instead gently said: “Grandpa, you’re from a small woman, right?” I said: “Give me a reason to be!” Wife Zeiyan Diliu a turn: “The little woman just out of prison release, too dirty for years did not open it! “my mother, this is justified, not from the truth did not break!

4, my wife asked me: “You men always say women Mensao, Mensao What does it mean?” I said: “Mensao is dignified appearance, the inner meaning of hot!” His wife asked: “What do you think I count? “I pretended to be carefully looked at her about it, then shook his head:” You is not! “his wife nodded:” I think it is, I should belong to the next show. “laughing my heart:” accurate and not full! “wonder wife a: “What?” I proudly replied: “You belong to the whole show!” sweat ~~~~~~~ This is a small Dayton could not stand to play it!

5, one night to accompany clients to KTV home late, just joined the family that his wife slept, and then crept to the bathroom shower. Just naked, my wife suddenly appeared, shouted sternly: “Do not want to destroy the evidence?” I was shocked, quickly said: “No, no, I have swords and guns out of storage before it!” Wife hehe grin two sound, touch live my hand jj: “ah, the gun has not lost, but I did a little check bullets!” Boy, this is also a way to check? She did not sleep is to a Bansu this?

6, my wife like all good things, including the handsome boys & girls, the greatest pleasure to accompany my wife shopping around to me is that she will be collecting handsome boys & girls for viewing. A shopping tired, we sat before the window of Starbucks to enjoy the beautiful River line. While his wife to enjoy while peering innocently asked me: “whom you so much beautiful night sharing a bed that way?” I was surprised to stare at her answer: “pervert!” His wife is also very surprised: ” ah? Would not it cheaper to those predators now? “I could laugh and cry, playing a bit with your fingers in her head:” cheap your head Yeah! all day thinking about what you say you do? Naodai sorghum Hanako! I said you pervert ! “” Oh! “Sidongfeidong wife nodded, said something angry and hurt my liver’s words:” Then I slept with them, whom you sleep? “silent … … I would also like their sleep, you I shall not waste it?

7, once made a small fortune, home to fling the envelope toward his wife: “Dolls, performed well last month, which is the reward for your tip uncle!” His wife a money eyes look, holding Dian Ledian envelope, hugged me, “Baji” Qinliaoyikou, fascinating and charming to say: “Thanks Grandpa, wait a good uncle is a small woman’s part, uncle you often come here!” I foolishly nodded: “Oh, certainly must! “Well, just one pair of mandarin ducks dew!

8, there is sucked into the cool breeze on his wife hiccup problems. Hiccup on one evening from work into family name, I asked with concern: “Is it drank the wind?” His wife so loaded sighed sadly: “do not drink the wind, how to do it? You have good days did not patronize small woman, and not the proceeds from a small woman, had Hexibeifeng it! “I think two or three days this did not House of Love and his wife, so he came all hands up. Beginning with the pretty wife, a critical moment, but stopped short: “Well, I still continue to drink the wind it!” I am a bit puzzled: “Why?” My wife smiled: “Some old friends not to go, do not convenient it! “I say, these days how she so rules!

9, a Saturday, my wife normal rest, I have to work overtime. This morning stalker guy touching me a lot, and then contented to sleep, full of tired I have to go to the company. I said hello to her about the bedroom, his wife behind to the sentence: “Lord, Gan Minger, come here!” I nodded: “Come on!” “Ah?” Thanks to my quick response: “dare morrow Come on! come tonight! “” This is like it! go, a small woman to sleep! “ooh … tiger … with his wife as partners, not really slow response!

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Intelligibility of betrayal suit you

October 19, 2011 – 4:54 am

The most “memorable” betrayal

One day a funeral industry working late, his work is usually sent to the dead body before burial or incineration to do a detailed inspection.

When he checked Mr. Wang’s body, he was surprised to find that thing is Mr. Wang’s seen in his life the longest, the biggest one.

“Mr. Wang, really sorry! I can send you on such cremation and you would only then something special must be left to future generations.”

Then the coroner to take a scalpel to cut the thing, it would be wrapped into the purse to take home. The first show to see his wife: “Wife, I’ll show you a thing you absolutely can not believe!” He opened the bag, put that thing out, to see his wife cried, “My God! Mr. Wang died ! ”

The most “unexpected” betrayal

There is a middle-aged couple, and they have two very beautiful daughters, but they have been longing for a son. They finally decided to make a last attempt, after several months of efforts, and help their heaven, the wife was pregnant, nine months after giving birth to a healthy little boy. The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his newborn son, he was terrified he saw his son saw his life turned out to be the ugliest baby. He went to see his wife and told her that he absolutely can not be the baby’s father, and very ferocious questioned his wife: “You are not carrying my Tou Hanzi?” His wife is very sweet he smiled and said: “This time is not.”

The most “tragic” betrayal

Lao Zheng lying in bed dying, his wife a small meditation at the bedside, holding his hand and burst into tears, murmuring prayers. Lao Zheng opened his eyes and looked at the little Zen weak, pale lips open, said softly: “Dear Little Zen Zen ,…” clutching his little mouth:” You are tired! Quiet sleep, well-behaved, do not talk! “Lao Zheng was unable to say:” But I must tell you something confession! “” nothing to declare it! you are tired, or a good sleep! “Little Zen weeping said. “No! No! Not! I have to tell the truth, I want to die a very peaceful and I have slept in your sister, your best friend, your best friend’s friend.” Gently weeping little Zen: ” I know, this is why I want to poison your reason! ”

The most “handle” of the affair

The two women in the countryside drink, drink day has dawn. On the way back, they are in urgent unbearable, so bite the bullet and went into a roadside cemetery. Because it did not bring toilet paper, the first woman will be wiped off the underwear, and threw the underwear. The second woman found next to a wreath, then wiped his tear elegiac couplet. Home not long after the two women, their husbands will interphone. “It seems we have to be careful, they both must have thing last night, I found my wife came back Mochuanneiku!”, “I’m worse, I found my wife on the bottom close to a note that read: ‘ I will never forget you! ‘”

The most “expensive” betrayal

One night, a man walks into a bar, the bartender said, “Please give me a glass of beer.” Bartender: “Yes, a glass of beer, a penny.” Guests do not believe in, shouting: “a penny a glass of beer?!” bartender: “It is, a penny!” guests looked at the menu, said: “Can you give me a big rib steak, plus mushrooms, French fries, two fried eggs.” bartender: “Of course, but This is quite expensive, oh. “guests:” How much is that? “bartender:” a total of four cents! “guests:” This is where the owner of the bar? “bartender:” Upstairs with my wife! “guests: “He’s upstairs with your wife do?” bartender: “It’s like I’m downstairs, he did the same bar!”

The most “corrupt” and betrayal

Owner of a car trip a few days, because of intolerable loneliness, they seek a nightclub to a beautiful lady, It Happened One Night, spending a thousand. To avoid his wife in charge of finance inventory, with the opening and maintenance receipts, notes: hot weather, tire burst, with a renewal.

The most “puzzling” the betrayal

There is a seaside village, the village most of the men are often not at home at sea for a long time.

Village woman almost everyone has an affair, but in the affair will go to the priest after confession. After a while, the priest suggested that those women: “After we put the word betrayal is called the fall, as long as that [falling] I know!” Later, the old priest retired, he should go before the special account of village fall to convey the meaning of the word new priest,

But after taking office the new priest, the village head, but forgot to tell the new priest about it. Women still do, like go to confession the priest, every day with the priest that I fell today. Because too many people fall, so the priest went to the village head, he suggested to strengthen the village road construction, so many people often fall.

Unexpectedly, the village head but listening to laugh. Priest to know why so happy to see smiling village, very angry and said: “What are you laughing! Village wife fell three times this week already!”

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11 Most Effective sex

September 17, 2011 – 5:58 am

Sex is a human instinct, can not be separated from ordinary to great sex. Avoidance is not noble, but foolish.
How to say love to export? ? Because of the love of men and women for love and sex.

“Sex can cure” is not a fantasy. Better sex life for many diseases, there are unexpected ease and inhibition.

Miraculous one: helping to eliminate insomnia. Everyone is eager to have a deep, sweet sleep, but a variety of reasons which led to insomnia, often troubled you. Especially women, are more likely to sleep. When undergoing a harmonious sexual life, the nervous excitement of the body begin to relax, the muscles are tired after the meeting to stretch, sleep naturally hit, helping to eliminate insomnia. And sex life more happy, more likely to fall asleep afterwards.

Miraculous two: reduce pre-menstrual syndrome. Women in the 5-7 days before menstruation, pelvic blood flow increases, it may cause swelling and spasm, causing bloating or abdominal pain. The sex life of muscle contraction, can promote blood flow to accelerate the pelvic area into the general blood circulation and relieve pelvic pressure, thereby reducing abdominal discomfort.

Miraculous three: semen help women vaginal disinfection. Experiments show that: there is an antibacterial substance semen — semen cytoplasm, it can kill staphylococcus, streptococcus, pneumococcus and other pathogens, it can help against female genital microbial invasion. Long-term no sexual life of women, more prone to vaginitis, endometritis, salpingitis and other illnesses.

Miraculous four: help protect the brain young. According to the Japanese medical research shows that: “disuse” of the atrophy, but also to the lack of sex life. The appropriate sex to help prevent brain aging and metabolism, memory is stronger.

Miraculous five: reduce the incidence of heart disease and myocardial infarction. Sex can make the pelvis, limbs, joints, muscles, spine more activities to promote blood circulation, strengthen the heart and lung capacity. Have a harmonious sexual life of people the risk of heart disease than sexual disharmony at least 10% reduction in risk.

Miraculous six: to reduce or relieve pain syndrome. Sex actually have the same effect with aspirin, sounds a bit incredible. However, a large number of medical institutions, the feedback confirmed the sex can stimulate the central nervous system, secrete a chemical called amine polyphenols, reduced pain for quite effective. Do not believe that sex with the incredible pain of the following analgesic effect.

Miraculous seven: to reduce the incidence of skin diseases. Skin, poor circulation, may lead to acne, dark spots and other skin diseases. And moderate sex will speed up blood circulation, balance metabolism, so that the skin smooth and delicate, and play a role in prevention and treatment of skin diseases.

Miraculous eight: to improve the immune system’s resistance to disease. Modern civilized life, but people’s immune systems more vulnerable than ever. Colds, high blood pressure, all kinds of ulcers are often hide not hide. Sex life can make a balanced secretion of adrenaline, the first muscle contraction, and then relax, creating a virtuous cycle in which the immune system can remain in good condition.

Miraculous nine: the promotion of women’s reproductive health. Estrogen can enable women to maintain good blood circulation system of the structure and function, regular sexual life of women, estrogen levels than the female sex occasionally much higher. Thus strengthening the physiological function of the ovaries, normal menstruation, menopause can be delayed, and will make every sex genital discharge, vaginal mucosa to prevent drying.

Miraculous ten: slow down aging. Women in the 35 or so, the bone began to loose, sex can regulate cholesterol and maintain bone density and reduce osteoporosis. So that the people look light gait, the body’s flexibility is also strong.

Miraculous XI: make men more strong and healthy. Moderate sexual life, and men’s testosterone secretion increased, so the more muscular men, weight gain, improved bone marrow function, but also to reduce body fat accumulation.

By admin | Posted in Sex | Comments (0)

11 Most Effective sex

August 15, 2011 – 11:39 am

Sex is a human instinct, can not be separated from ordinary to great sex. Avoidance is not noble, but foolish.
How to say love to export? ? Because of the love of men and women for love and sex.

“Sex can cure” is not a fantasy. Better sex life for many diseases, there are unexpected ease and inhibition.

Miraculous one: helping to eliminate insomnia. Everyone is eager to have a deep, sweet sleep, but a variety of reasons which led to insomnia, often troubled you. Especially women, are more likely to sleep. When undergoing a harmonious sexual life, the nervous excitement of the body begin to relax, the muscles are tired after the meeting to stretch, sleep naturally hit, helping to eliminate insomnia. And sex life more happy, more likely to fall asleep afterwards.

Miraculous two: reduce pre-menstrual syndrome. Women in the 5-7 days before menstruation, pelvic blood flow increases, it may cause swelling and spasm, causing bloating or abdominal pain. The sex life of muscle contraction, can promote blood flow to accelerate the pelvic area into the general blood circulation and relieve pelvic pressure, thereby reducing abdominal discomfort.

Miraculous three: semen help women vaginal disinfection. Experiments show that: there is an antibacterial substance semen — semen cytoplasm, it can kill staphylococcus, streptococcus, pneumococcus and other pathogens, it can help against female genital microbial invasion. Long-term no sexual life of women, more prone to vaginitis, endometritis, salpingitis and other illnesses.

Miraculous four: help protect the brain young. According to the Japanese medical research shows that: “use and disuse” of the atrophy, but also to the lack of sex life. The appropriate sex to help prevent brain aging and metabolism, memory is stronger.

Miraculous five: reduce the incidence of heart disease and myocardial infarction. Sex can make the pelvis, limbs, joints, muscles, spine more activities to promote blood circulation, strengthen the heart and lung capacity. Harmonious sexual life of people with heart disease risk than sexual disharmony at least 10% reduction in risk.

Miraculous six: to reduce or relieve pain syndrome. Sex actually have the same effect with aspirin, sounds a bit incredible. However, a large number of medical institutions of the feedback confirmed the sex can stimulate the central nervous system, secrete a chemical called amine polyphenols, reduced pain for quite effective. Do not believe that sex with the incredible pain of the following analgesic effect.

Miraculous seven: to reduce the incidence of skin diseases. Skin, poor circulation, cause acne, dark spots and other skin diseases. And moderate sex will speed up blood circulation, balance metabolism, the skin smooth and delicate, and play a role in prevention and treatment of skin diseases.

Miraculous eight: to improve the immune system’s resistance to disease. Modern civilized life, but people’s immune systems more vulnerable than ever. Colds, high blood pressure, all kinds of ulcers are often hide not hide. Sex life can make a balanced secretion of adrenaline, the first contraction of the muscles, then relax, creating a virtuous cycle in which the immune system can be maintained in good condition.

Miraculous nine: the promotion of women’s reproductive health. Estrogen can enable women to maintain good blood circulation system of the structure and function, regular sexual life of women, estrogen levels than the occasional female sex is much higher. Thus strengthening the physiological function of the ovaries, normal menstruation, menopause can be delayed, and will make every sex genital discharge, vaginal mucosa to prevent drying.

Miraculous ten: slow down aging. Women in the 35 or so, the bone began to loose, sex can regulate cholesterol and maintain bone density and reduce osteoporosis. So that the people look light gait, the body’s flexibility is also strong.

Miraculous XI: make men more strong and healthy. Moderate sexual life, and men’s testosterone secretion increased, so the more muscular men, weight gain, improved bone marrow function, but also to reduce body fat accumulation.

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Modern lovers quarrel

July 16, 2011 – 4:31 am

M: “Ah how come now? All the time?!” Female: “Our family has a little thing, my dad he …” M: “suffice it! hit me that day to know you, your home is no thing broken! I satisfied, bored, and your dad a retired veteran, Comrade Arafat than the others, how the fire ah?! ” Female: “Well have to get, as it? not that late coming for a while?” M: “moment? yo I waited in the cold wind for over an hour!” Woman: “So how was that? back to you on the go with their two sons Sanlitun drinking, I was more than an hour the door Sa pestle of it! frozen I was head of ice fit for the occasion, with crystal chandeliers like … ” M: “You that are waiting for me? you that is stalking! Sa hour, you deserve it! talk about this I come to air, I say you are learning What professional? next to no skill, stare, off with your Daoxing it very deep; ballast is also a head of ice crystals, I Pooh! not that some frozen solid nose bubble it? one that does not look in your own point Pizi … ” Woman: “Do not speak so damaged ah! I Pizi how? too bad I look, you find a good give me Chou Chou ah!” M: “Do you think I can? if I had it people leniency, as you’d have thrown wildly thrown a big nose! ” Woman: “Hey, you in high spirits! that point you do not Chouchou virtue! to say that your parents can be really great, how come Pakistan so that you save a half-baked things! ” M: “I look is not as good as you, you see how good you look … … with model-like, but also Mr. Picasso dedicated! I said, you just know how it felt familiar, co in the completion of the man’s paintings have seen! ” woman: “I do not like you! Da Vinci played the small practice portraits, is you? I really quite puzzled, and DaVinci how odd it through your mother’s belly, painted to look like you are so realistic! ” M: “how? Leonardo da Vinci painting eggs mess with you? jealous, right? Who does not like your breasts large egg yolk it ? really, either you see the day in front of children covered with a fake chest, and I really could not tell you on the positive and negative it! ” woman: “on the Hello! thin like a toothpick with the stalk, usually piled up in a heap at it when, every time, I just dreamed that my grandma in sewing as well. ” M: “sewing? your home so long sewing needle?” Woman: “Long has what’s the use? It’s not the fishing line to buy fish! ” M: “Hey! you really saying it! this critical time, it can be fishing! This is the capital, you know? like I had had a late-bloomer … … ” Woman: “late-bloomer? best you also a green bean!” M: “no matter what the bud, to fish on into! can you?” Woman: “I am not, can you, or you put water where to try? mindful Do not turtle, tortoise attracted, people saw things your head that, they thought it was home to what blind relatives too! ” M: “Today I am also not a non-pilot! ” Woman: “ah … you let me go! you do not let go I call people, rotten scoundrels …” M: “You called, shouted, and I want to fish the …” Woman: “You’re not like me too egg yolk? Do you go to a big ah, you off to! ” M: “I like small, diamond jewelry all with a small box, with a large basket carried only trash it …” Woman: “Do you hate … you bully people … you bad … ”

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Humor life

June 16, 2011 – 12:47 pm

A business trip in Finland, went to a seaside market in Helsinki wander.

The sun is simply too good to make people blink. Crummy photos, is the real “Excuse me”, the human face becomes bright white.

Sent to swallow a small incense compact market on the beach on the purchase. Stall is a middle-aged beauty.

I asked her, this little box the value of € 7 should be used in women, but what the specific use.

This bright white woman smiling showing eight teeth, Touyi Wai, a little think about it, I said the same: “for diamond.”

Ha ha ha ha, I can not help music, to play down the relative laugh. Finally, she was none to 5 euros turnover.

People who like humor and humor in life. So much of life.

Often people will believe that women lack a sense of humor. Bo Yang, Lin and all such talk, can not say that they have a bias. Perception is always relative. In contrast, the Jewish sense of humor and stronger than other Westerners, if you read “Well, now you can say,” you know.

Trivial sense of humor is when you face life’s Kuzhongzuole, you face a lot of anger when wronged troubles anti-laugh, is to understand that since the knocked out teeth and blood have to swallow that generous gesture as points hist however, is awake come to find themselves still intact, self-deprecating when a new day, month, day is day after day to see wrinkles and gray hair years when shrugged Tan Tanshou.

However, for women, she faced life trivial than men, she’s sensitive to shortness of breath more easily when faced with injustice grievance tears, she could not care how old his face yesterday, how can we really just living just another day over a day?

Of course, there are humorous woman. This wonderful world of women do not know where. They treat themselves to understand the world situation, not make things difficult for a man not embarrassed himself. Go love love, marriage, marriage, naturalization, naturalization confidant confidante, the security of the event, life can continue.

They do not readily go to the envy of others, because each has its own troubles, and then another famous beauty, it does not mean there is no pain do not worry – possible, still more trouble. Cherie Chung’s life motto is: “I know what his age, to know what age do something.” So Honggu to now, still beautiful.

Catty promotion of a bank president, asked me: “You say, I have also executives, and want to go to buy a LV back?” I quickly discouraged, “really do not know what LV is good, those who cross carved Logo package, the color of a man than I am still bored, Mende wanted to read the eyes turn elsewhere. sometimes to see the kind of color and style, I recall the early years of reform and opening up, that aunt who / housewife who’s coat style. introduction of a certain period of time this brand bag style red and blue, just like when I was moving with the plastic bag, this back street, when the head office of president you can be laughed at. ”

Then, she did see a second-tier cities in Mainland streets a woman staff LV, they Lament: “Fortunately, not buy, are such as iron-gray pleated skirt, pink sweater, like lining, like OL wear even though I was carrying a really , people also think is false. ”

I am happy to nod, “Yes, your temperament is only wishful for command in the office or at home with your baby babbling, not suitable for human eyes in the street and put the knife secret police authenticity.”

She hist Ran, “which also put the knife and then dare to take to the streets, the streets beautiful young figure I directly put on the breaks at the zebra crossing. Years of brutal.”

“That whatever the outcome, you become more experienced, after years of wisdom.”

Catty be ashamed like: “the elders who can not only spot ah.”

It is this sister, I absolutely believe a woman’s sense of humor.

I always felt I was a pleasing sense of humor. Have a sense of humor at the same time a good appetite, and eat like a small Young’s sisters say eat, eat at least have fun.

A girl romance, Acacia deep-seated that day, vagrancy, can not eat. I signed into MSN “Shang Yan Yi looks, plus meals under the words” to comfort her, thinking quite a spirit of revolutionary optimism. In fact, this logic continuation of the ancients.

Jun remember any? – Ancient words: “Si Jun old people, and strive to increase meal.” Before a romance, to a sudden turn, turned to reality. This the ancients must be male.

Of modern women, but also how to reality. Sijun old people, may be followed to do yoga, beauty, manicure, and so on … … to lose weight but also hastened it, to clean the image of the person in front of your thoughts, why not better? The first such canadensis, lovesickness down, Paul met with the other variable you are scared, but never quite found a better person, more harm than good.

Or, another thought, maybe this “gentleman” is your salary, depends on wages to pay rent utilities, fuel, salaries to rise, had to work overtime to cope with the heavy work, is trying to eat, add heat.

Have offended many Chinese historical and cultural heritage. Such a “joke” than it was back to “You hit me with a peach, plum throw you in my revenge,” to explain “reciprocate” There is much more educational.

Then again mischievous thought, no wonder the ancients added another: “The end does not regret wide pine” – so hard to eat, how to not gain weight, buy a freshman yards of clothes?

Probably, both men and women, all of the stories are such a development – the man into the heart, they live on.

Since not, as of the pathos of appetite, who will learn Juliet Lovers, after millions of years became the younger generation accused of “stupid”, “crazy” typical. Now out of fashion.

So quiet you can often silent when their own one, you know, a heart of stone is how to excel.

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Humor Life – Celebrity is actually very funny!

May 25, 2011 – 6:45 am

Face embarrassment
German Air Force General Wu Daite General of the disease with bald. At a banquet, a young soldier accidentally spill the wine to the general head, and all is silent, the soldiers standing horrified, helpless. ‘d Break the deadlock in the general, he patted the shoulders of the soldiers said: “Brother, do you think this treatment will work?” Audience suddenly burst out laughing. The hearts of people to relax tight, and the general’s generosity and humor to win people’s respect and affection.

Face work pressure
A symphony orchestra rehearsed in a tight Gaussian Manchester Musharraf “spring’s ceremony,” the final chapter. Tired of the conductor to you about his understanding of the various parts of the music: “soft and beautiful horn symbolizes the run of the farm girls, and loud trombone and trumpet represents the pursuit of the savages.” When he raised his baton again prepared to allow the music to continue when the fly over an area from the Horn: “Master, you do not mind if we played a little bit faster to a part of it!” an easy laugh at the rehearsal to eliminate the tension and hard work, so the atmosphere was enjoyable surrounded.

Unhappy face one o’clock
Time, U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was speaking, a youth handed him a note. Lincoln opened it, with only one word: “stupid.” Lincoln passing touch his face a little, but he quickly recovered his calm, smiling to everyone, said: “The President received many anonymous letters all just text, but not the writer’s signature; and today on the contrary, this gentleman is only just Department on its own name, but forgot to write the text. ”
Canadian diplomats in the election of Members of Browning, because of childhood milk and eating foreign nanny attack by political opponents, saying that his body must have a foreign origin. Running wit to fight back, said: “You grew up drinking milk, then the body must have the blood of the cow!”
Reduced his other side to say.

Sad loss of face
American philosopher George. Santayana the day selected in April to end his teaching career at Harvard University. Day. George, speaking last lesson in the auditorium, near the end of time, a beautiful robin tits kept falling on the window sill, and he looked at birds, for a long time, he turned to listen quietly and said: “I’m sorry gentlemen, Excuse me. I have an appointment with the spring. “walked hastily finished.
Sentence parting message, like a poem good. People who do not love life, in any case can not tell. People bid farewell to his career in a lifetime, there is the inevitable sad mood, many people from the loss, pessimistic. George. Raymond Swing is an energetic, love life, mentality, sense of humor to face life scene of old age.

The face of diseases of aging
In a large number of celebrities attended the meeting late, has lost the old style, beard grizzled veteran Raleigh Pakistani film staggers onto the stage on crutches to the table. Host open asked: “Do you often go to the doctor?” “Yes, often go to.” “Why?” “Because patients must often go to the doctor, the doctor to live.” At this point, the audience broke out in warm applause, people’s optimism for the elderly applauded the language and wit.
Host then asked: “Do you often go to pharmacy to buy medicine you?” “Yes, I often went. Because the pharmacist have to live.”
The audience is a round of applause. “You often medicine?” “No, I often throw away the medicine. Because I have to live.” Audience laugh.
Raleigh dialogue with the host sentence refreshing sense of humor, so that the people in the spirit of evergreen Raleigh awe.

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Aries Ge humor in life

May 7, 2011 – 6:49 am

End of the year 2010, “Orphan”, “Let the bullets fly,” “You Are the One 2″ turns staged, led to the worst of the domestic film market, “Battle of the Lunar New Year film,” Interestingly, these three New Year One of the main actors in both large – Ge. For many fans, the end of the year starring Ge You have to look at a Lunar New Year film, or to feel something was lacking, talking about video screen on the Ge-style humor, it may not unfamiliar, Ge quietly in the comedy excellent performance, resulting in the “Ge came on the audience to laugh.” eyes in the audience that he became a symbol of happy, but is such a superstar actor who also had been around that there is no acting ability, what the achievements of the Ge, What are hidden behind this story, “technology Ziwei constellation network” together with your sense of humor in life to find out Ge.

Ge is the origin born in the fifties, Hebei and Beijing, and Ge can be considered entertainment family background, his father is veteran actor Ge keep strong! Although Ge was born performing arts family, but the Ge from small to accept the parents of professional education is not very full, when his father, Ge keep strong the go movies, and her mother busy at work always go out, to when the domestic culture of big campaign period, his mother was the unit concentrated to relevant local, basic living away from home.

In 1976, the tide in the mountains and the countryside, came to Beijing in Changping County, Ge Xing Shou commune to jump the queue, dry the pig’s live, he is two years and nine thousand, making food for pigs, cleaning pig pens, the pigs delivery, medical treatment for the pigs …… both he and his master, possessor of fifty or sixty pigs into authentic little swineherd. In 1979, Xing Shou Ge left a few months before the Commune, the national performing arts talents lean art schools have enrollment. Ge You think we should go as an actor, he returned to town special leave to take the test, the first registered for the Beijing Film Academy, followed by the Central Academy of Drama, Central Experimental Theatre, Ge You keep on fighting, not the end of a test on.

At this time, Changping farm pig who asked to go back to Ge, Ge happen to keep a strong friend to stopping, he said, the art troupe is always full enrollment, you can try. Ge changes the trip, decided to apply for the next day. Examinations are: reading, singing, comedy. Exam results in front of two flat, Ge You worry a sudden flash of inspiration, decided to play a skit: “pigs.”

In front of a large number of examiners, Ge pigs found their career, as if the candidates is prepared for this. Ge originally a bit nervous, immediately become the answers, he not only ate pork, pig run have seen, and and pigs living together for nearly three years. He recalled: “When the show, the stage of course, no pigs, but I have pig eyes.” Ge performance praised by the examiners, and finally admitted to the ACFTU Backstage.

Art troupe arrived in full when the total Ge do not know how to call acting, his teacher said: you on stage, from the apron and went to the apron and even the road may not go. Ge has the “first love, we do not understand love,” “the way the Rain” and other drama in the play a small role, Ge You first contact with the film in 1981, after six years, he participated in four consecutive films show essentially no response.

Ge’s mother worried that she was no acting ability that Ge, or even to leave the ACFTU Backstage Ge. Because at that time to the top post at the Beijing Film Studio, of course, not the top performers, but the photographer or something. North shadow top level to the whole unit can have iron rice bowl, at the time is also an enviable career. But Ge still play a small role in the whole general art troupe, and kept running.

Aries Ge You should understand that “haste makes waste” the truth, so he patiently waiting for the opportunity to appear, and finally Mega Mountain 1988, ready to shoot the film director Wang Shuo’s “Wanzhu” Ge Mega Mountain arrangements to continue to play a small role at first – as one of the small supporting role. Yang Chung-hero, a handsome young man ready for an actor to play, but in the audition process Mega Mountain on Ge favor with Canada, so please Ge You as the protagonist. Ge appearance and performance are consistent with those described by Wang Shuo, “cold enthusiastic” as of little humor. Ge also won the Golden Rooster Award for Best Actor that year nominated and become a minor celebrity.

Aries, though known for warm and impulsive, but at the irony of their reaction and attitude of wit, often in the most tense moment, Bo people smile. Aries, he has a positive attitude, and the red sun, bring a good understanding of its Sea King, so his performance has caused relaxation, can set off a large number of plain wonderful moment.

It is because of the witty and intelligent, he is more the color scenes, coupled with the sun to Pluto triple his work carefully, never neglect the role of treatment, even if he said nothing can be amused the audience roared with laughter, and even there was such a effect: Ge more serious, we feel more Coke, or even just say he is and is not funny after eight, then, can people still like to hear a joke, like beside myself with joy the arrival of the opportunity thus International quickly to the fore. With the film “Wanzhu” and the TV series “editorial story” aggressively, Ge You gradually emerge and known! the Ge You starred in the film “live” and won the Cannes award winner, has since been awarded the Golden Rooster and Hundred Flowers were video award! In recent years several Ge You and Feng Xiaogang’s Chinese New Year videos to build cooperation, which makes the screen image re-Ge are comic sublimation.

Ge You bring joy in many people at the same time, you know life is humor Ge phoenix-like return for long-term persistence and wait for it? Dear readers, “technology Ziwei constellation network” Ge humor in life that is behind an irrefutable truth: “Bao Jianfeng from sharpening out, plum blossom from the bitter cold.”

The way in life, you perhaps fledgling Ge, humble, mediocrity, but as long as adhere to embrace a heart, to be turned the corner, are the times you will eventually come.

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Humor life

April 13, 2011 – 1:14 pm

Humor associated with a Western language: “The so-called spam, is in the wrong place of a good thing.” And since in the wrong place, may wish to re-find a place for who looking for on this site, whoever makes those ” garbage “shine.

Yet when the U.S. President Roosevelt before the stolen family, friends, wrote to comfort him. Roosevelt wrote back: “Thank you for your letter, I mind very calm, because:

First, the thief only stole my property, and not hurt my life.

Second, the thief only stole some things, but not all.

Third, the good news is: thief is that he, not me. ”

Lotus opened a port, Hong; a hand ground to do good; a heart affectionate intention; life happy at home. On one occasion, George Bernard Shaw in the streets, knocked down by a daredevil bike on the ground, but fortunately does not matter. Perpetrators hurried to help him up, he kept Sorry, George Bernard Shaw Paipaipigu quipped: “You’re really bad luck, sir, if you killed me, to be known in the world has.”

Humor, wit reaction is not only articulate, but a happy, mature attitude to life, to grasp the wisdom of it is equal to grasp, a source of pleasure.

The first will Humor translated as “humor” who was Lin Yutang, he behave Shenju sense of humor. Lin said: “The humor is real life, tolerance, compassion outlook on life.”

Learn humor to “optimistic all, Xiaokan Life”; to “open is the wisdom, voice is the sounds of nature.”

Humorist Lin Yu-tang a university professor in English, the first day of class, a big bag his hand into the classroom, students thought it was a textbook, when he came to do is open the shell peanuts, Lin is in English and speak about their eating peanuts Road.

He said: “eat eat shelled peanuts, and all the taste and fun, all in the peel, peel the more dynamic, the more a taste of peanuts.” He then added: “peanuts, also known as Changsheng Guo, party of first day of class, eat my Changsheng Guo, Zhu Jun immortal, then I do not class name, I hope you eat peanuts, more long patience, do not skip school! “language Biquan Tang smile.

Less emphasis on the Chinese people are ethnic humor, education, small to large, the parents and teachers have taught us to “solemn”, “serious”; mainly due to the ethics of traditional Chinese culture, stressing that “Viagra is not a gentleman is not heavy.”

Humor is the lubricant of life communication, which in people’s lives plays a decisive role. But we can not forget life is colorful. Therefore, the use of humor, do not abuse humor, an easy punch line and power can bring, but the steady stream of wit, jokes, satire, but also cut off communication. We may encounter such people, we know what to do harm, but to quickly escape the bombing of the power of humor too.

Sometimes we encounter people who punch line, such as beads, but since we do not mind competition, but to listen to his semantic content, learning each other’s strengths, if you have rough idea in mind, one would like to use humor to overwhelm each other, can make the atmosphere tense, causing the other phobias, it will cause others to you after the attack, humor is to make communication more harmonious, the use of humor to produce a laugh with people, so the atmosphere is very pleasant.

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